Exiting the Matrix
I have been waking up my whole life. Everything that happened in my life was preparing me for the moment, or the hour when I would Remember who I was. I continue to remember and evolve and expand into the divinity that each one of us truly is. If each person that touched my soul, delivered me a black box of pain, tore at my self worth or appeared in the nick of time hadn’t had played their roles to perfection, I would not be on this glorious road of exiting the matrix with all those that are on this journey as well.
I will share with you the condensed version of my journey to the Now as I feel that many lightworkers chose difficult and painful upbringings in order to fully experience the lessons of Duality and polarity. To experience what We are Not in order to remember what We Are. To experience all that is not love in order to remember what love is.
Life was magical until the age of five. I spent most of my time in the forest when I wasn’t with other children. Nature was my safe place, full of ethereal beings, plants, trees, animals and flowers that I loved. The forest was my playground.
Then the lessons came. Abandonment, cruelty, sadness, pain, shame, worthlessness. I am an Empath and felt the pain and fear of all in our family, not just my own. My teenage years were full of anger and self destructiveness…how to escape this world? This unfathomable place full of pain. I numbed out with alcohol and drugs. I kept my Family of Light on their toes and somehow they kept me in this body, a miracle in itself.
I’m finally on my own! When I turned eighteen I immediately moved out. I had one year left in high school but if I didn’t leave I would officially go mad. Being an Empath growing up had filled me with more pain and fear and self-hate than I could handle any longer. But I had survived. My warrior self had saved me yet how would it serve me now? How would I stop fighting after all those years of fighting for my life? And the spiritual world was calling…my soul was calling and I was filled with questions that needed to be answered. I was determined to find them. There had to be a reason there was so much pain and anger and fear in the world. I would not rest until I knew why. I wandered into a metaphysical bookstore and something clicked. I bought some books.
I read about crystals, spirit guides, channeling, anything I could get my hands on. The New Age was dawning and bookstores and shops were appearing.
But the self hate and the anger. My emotional self was damaged and I didn’t know where to begin. On top of it I was Homesick. I wanted to go HOME. Home? Home where?
Spirit speaks for the First Time. I turned twenty-one and could legally drink myself into numbness and escapism. I had been drinking since I was thirteen but now I could officially be a part of societal numbness. I woke up late one evening in my car on an overpass with my best friend in the passenger seat. We had sideswiped the overpass and my car was totaled, the right side almost ripped off. I drove it the last half mile home, somehow alert and oriented. Neither of us had a scratch on us and somehow the car had driven itself several miles to that overpass. The next day a voice spoke loudly in my head. “Choose Now.” “Live or Die” “Either way you must choose.” WHO was that? It certainly wasn’t me but it was loud and clear and very wise.
I thought and thought. I was learning to meditate. I meditated. I knew the Voice was right. Perhaps it was my spirit guides? Perhaps there was hope and I would find the answers. I chose to live. My spiritual journey began in full force. I read spiritual books, I attended workshops, I used hypnosis tapes, I learned that other people were psychic too and could also see auras. I knew everything had an aura around it and I would love to sit outside and look at the auras of trees and plants. I had not spoken of these parts of myself as I knew others did not see the world as I did. I now imagined I had a mission and that it would be very unusual, unusual like me.
My Teachers, Working Through the Darkness. I was twenty-two and fell in love. That is, the love that you conceptualize when you are twenty-two and haven’t begun your inner work. He would save me! He understood me and would make up for all the love I didn’t get. I gave my power away, the little that I had. I made him impossibly responsible for my happiness. I began my process of inner work. I met my shadow side, my dark side. I married and I divorced. My hopes of love left with him. I fell into darkness and pain. Borderline insanity pain. Physical and mental illness pain. I couldn’t function. My mind and my body felt paralyzed. My dark side spoke, “Never trust anyone, everyone will hurt you, they lie to you and betray you.” Why was I trapped here? This world of neverending pain? She almost won, my shadow side. Her self hate and darkness almost took my life. I felt myself leaving, drifting above my head toward the ceiling in the darkness, drifting away from the skin and bones and fear that engulfed me. “No!” “I’m not going “ “God help me, I’m staying here.”
My Teachers. Many of us have been blessed to find a being or beings that I believe agreed to show us the Way and hold our hearts when we couldn’t before we descended into this illusion of the third dimension. Mine was Dawn Eagle Woman. She literally saved my life. This time I needed an incarnate Being of Light to guide me as she still does in her wise and wonderful ways. I needed to do my inner work, to look at the darkness within myself, to deny all the lies I had told myself, to look at the beliefs that had been conditioned in me that no longer served my growth. In the end it is all comes back to us. Everyone and everything outside is merely a reflection of us. Layers and layers she assisted me to look at and peel back. The Shadows, the anger, the pain, the darkness, the fear. I was becoming and she was my perfect teacher. She taught me so many things…gratitude, boundaries, self love, humility, compassion, trust, kindness. I recalled many past lives in our work. I remembered a life where I taught Jesus’s teachings and was killed. His true teachings, not the edited and altered ones. I remembered many lives on Gaia, warrior lives, witch lives, peaceful lives, magical lives. And she introduced me to my galactic teachers, who have since passed into Spirit. They were an amazing couple that over time became like loving grandparents to me. I could sense astral incarnates around me and often they were from my past lives. They taught me how to protect myself with a bubble of energy and send these incarnates packing…often back to the light. They had me practice with them and learn how to do this. Calling in the light to take these incarnates to their proper place in Spirit. They furthered my knowledge of the chakras and the kundalini, the light centers and life force within all of us. I remembered off planet lives with them and our work delving into some of my galactic past began to awaken me more to my star origins. My strange thoughts such as “cars are so stupid and slow, why do we have to use these ridiculous contraptions to travel in?” didn’t seem so strange anymore. Feeling like a stranger in a strange land began to make sense as my teachers confirmed that they too were Galactics and in fact I wasn’t the only one. I could travel in my consciousness with them into my past lives. We saw that in one life I had been their starship navigator. My Home wasn’t here at all and the Home I longed for was my ancient Home in the stars perhaps. But where? Where in the stars? And what did that have to do with my life?
Awakening. Ascension? What is that? I had heard the term and had had experiences with starship people through the years in various spiritual workshops and groups. Didn’t they want their ET family to come and get them to save them from this planet? I wasn’t really sure what their agenda was. Well, I wasn’t really aboard with that. Would I like to escape? Probably, but in my heart and through my own journey, I felt that it was my soul mission to bring Heaven onto Earth. By being courageous enough to do our own inner work and develop our own inner relationship with Mother/Father God and our spirit guides. Yes…. exactly.
I returned to the East coast some four years ago as events in my life led up to that. I have learned that there are reasons for everything. There are no accidents, only events we cannot understand in their totality in the moment from our limited perspective. It was January 2012. Many may be able to look back and see how this year was pivotal in the awakening of many. We were called to action it seems. Wake up, it’s time. Events had led me to leave LA, my second home and return to the East Coast. My life had fallen apart and I was hit with exhaustion, an utter physical exhaustion that I just fell into. I didn’t resist it or remarkably even freak out too much. I worked with Dawn by telephone, a great acupuncturist and a homeopath and rode it out, having faith that I would come out of it although I had brain fog, could hardly physically move and getting through one day seemed like all the work I could do. I began to read again. Through synchronicity, which always happens with books and I, I began to read Dolores Cannon’s books. There was a resonating with these books that is hard to explain. I was completely alone…reading, meditating. My guides began to become clearer visually and I was having these beautiful loving experiences with a guide that looked like a Zeta. I was asking for help in healing myself in my meditations. I began to see triangles flowing into my third eye and my crown chakra and these two over time came to meet in the middle of my mind, forming a star. They told me this was a download. I could feel energies moving through my body and they were clearly working on me. I was feeling lighter and lighter. And the books… I voraciously read in bed, one book after another…I was remembering something. I heard music and melodies yet the radio wasn’t playing. I heard strange humming sounds like a bee buzzing in my ear. Over my deck that overlooked a Marina, little blue orbs would appear and make an arc in the air and disappear. Flashes of golden light would flash by the corner of my eye. I had this sense that my star family, whoever they were, were going to walk through the walls right into my room. They were near. But I wasn’t afraid, I was Ready. As the months went by, my guides showed me the whole sequence of the download. In my meditation, radiant white light entered my crown chakra and the two triangles in the middle of my mind formed a star, as the radiant white light flowed through me, another set of triangles formed a star in my heart. The radiant white light moved through my chakras and into the earth. Then it shot back up to my heart area and I expanded into a huge diamond of light. No physical body, just light. A diamond star of light! A remembrance within me excitedly lit up and I spoke to them. “I remember, yes, let’s do it!” “Not yet,” I heard in response. All this time I thought, you’ve been showing me a sequence that seems to end in bliss and now you tell me not Now? Now I know why not Now. It is the way to ascension, to Christ Consciousness and I will become Lightbody when that sequence occurs. The downloads of course served many purposes as I came to know. My Merkaba were activated and this is how I travel between dimensions and meet with the Family of Light, to my starship and the starship of many others and the Great Central Sun.
Sue Lie and the Arcturians. There comes a moment or a person or an event perhaps that leads us to that moment of awakening. For me, it was my whole life. I was preparing to Wake Up. Looking back in retrospect I can see how every lesson, every person, every family member, every negative feeling or thought was my teacher in a grander plan. Children are wise, wiser than we give them credit for. When I was young I felt I had a mission, a mission that some would not understand or embrace and that some would. I knew it would be out of the ordinary. My Pleidian multidimensional self resides on the starship Athena in the fifth dimension. I was ready to remember. I think this is the key. When you are ready to remember who you are, you are ready to become More. You are ready to remember that we aren’t the small, powerless beings that we presumed. We are the Ones we are waiting for.
I found Sue’s website again through synchronicity and I began to read the messages and her blog. Tears filled my eyes. These Arcturians, they were speaking to my heart and I felt their love and compassion as I read…blog after blog after blog. They were speaking to me! This was it, my chance for answers as to who I was. The Arcturians knew and I knew that they knew! I made the appointment for the session online and waited for Sue to contact me for the date and time. I was so hopeful! Before the call, a Knowing came into my being..I know them. That was my first question. Then in sync with them they had me see myself aboard the starship Athena which was not difficult, I’ve always been psychic and could see myself there. I was tall and blonde and humanoid and I wore a silver skinsuit. I was Pleidian! And I was a navigator as I knew. I saw my place on the starship with the navigation panels. But in that moment, in the Now, they began to answer my second question without me directly asking it. How did I get here? At that moment I heard sounds on the starship that signaled a problem and simultaneously my fire alarms went off in my house that I was renting. My fire alarms were yelling “Evacuate” “Evacuate”. As I’m on the phone with Sue, experiencing myself on the starship, we realize that I shifted to another time and another starship and my starship is in trouble and we need to emergency land. Meanwhile my fire alarms were simultaeously going off in my house, deafening us “Evacuate, Evacuate”. Both realities were merging in the Now. We tried to use our energies to end the merging of realities but Spirit was going to make sure I got this one clearly. We agreed to hang up so I could turn off the fire alarms in my house so we could hear each other. What a trip. I tried to take out the batteries but there was one that still wouldn’t stop…I just shut my home office door and we continued on the phone. My Pleidian starship was crashing and I needed to find the closest planet to emergency land on. As I navigated, I looked through the window of my starship. I had found a planet we could land on now! And yes, it was Earth. I navigated to the best of my ability and we crash landed, rough but safe. Sue was assisting with concern from the phone since the two realities were merging. “Run from the ship,” she ordered, “get away from the ship.” We all exited the starship and ran. We were by water but this was a very different Earth than the Earth we see now, the sky had a red and pinkish glow and it looked very young…like Neanderthal times. We seemed to be in a jungle area with lots of water. We all escaped and ran to safety and our ship went up with a bang. So now I know how I got here and where I came from and that I came to love this planet Gaia, this beautiful Mother that sustains us and has allowed us to live our third dimensional experiences upon her body. I woke up and I remembered and I continue to remember. I came back as an aspect of my Pleidian self as well as many other multidimensional selves to assist beloved Gaia and to ascend again. Most Pleidians have ascended already and are most lovingly anxious to assist their human family and our beloved Gaia to move into a higher dimensional reality. From my Pleidian self’s perspective in the fifth dimension, there is only love and connectedness. There are no limitations, no separation and All is One. It can be difficult to comprehend this perspective from the illusion of duality and separation in the third dimension but this Matrix is not real. We pass through the veil of forgetfulness when we incarnate on Earth and I tell you only the brave would even endeavor such an act. Ascension is the return Home, it is the raising of our consciousness enough to allow our higher selves to join us in the physical and bring us back to our true selves, our lightbody selves, our Christ Consciousness where we return to the connectedness that is Ours Eternally. And we do this for Gaia. It is Her time to return to who she really is, the glorious star of Mother/Father God. As above, so below.
During the summer solstice of 2016, I was asked by the Family of Light, Sananda, Divine Mother Mary, Ashtar and Archangel Michael as well as my Pleidian and Arcturian self to create a website. It was requested that I continue to bring back the information and messages from the starship Athena which is the Pleidian/Arcturian starship here to assist with Gaia’s ascension and our personal ascension and from the Great Central Sun in the center of our galaxy where the cosmic rays of light and love emanate from as well as the divine rays from Mother/Father God.
I do not claim to have your truth or the ultimate and eternal truth. If the information and messages that are given to me resonate with your Spirit and your Higher Self then these messages are for you. All the answers are within yourself. You have the same access to your Family of Light and I encourage you to go within yourself and ask your own Higher Self what is true. Our paths to Ascension often merge and converge but your path is yours uniquely and you and your Family of Light planned it perfectly.
The information that is shared for all on this website is universal information and is intended for all. Any information may be used and shared, I only ask that if you use the information that the whole blog is shared so that information is not used out of context.
What have I learned?
My heart is light and I feel at peace with all those in my life. This time of awakening and expansion has brought me a sense of inner freedom and calm and a greater sense of faith that we are protected and loved eternally. Being a messenger between the realms has given me a strange sense that this is the dream-the illusion and the higher realms have become more real and true. It is sometimes an odd feeling to wake in the morning and feel that here I am, back in the dream and I have come back from the realms of reality and truth. I spend little time in the past of this life unless there is something that must be observed in order to transmute it. It strangely feels like another life and it’s only purpose now is how it served me to get to the here and now.
What is my perspective now?
I am here to serve Gaia. Gaia is a living, conscious multidimensional being as am I. We are not separate. As I evolve and become more aware and expand to anchor more divine light, so does she and everyone else around me. We are All one. If we create unity, compassion and live in harmony as One together, each holding this vision and intention there is nothing that can stop us from healing ourselves and Gaia. The power of unity is the key to transforming ourselves and Gaia. How can I serve Gaia with love and joy? I am a portal opener and a messenger. It brings me joy to use my meditation time to anchor divine and cosmic light into Gaia from the Great Central Sun. It gives me joy to travel to the other dimensions and share what is happening, what we are all participating in and to share the messages that Spirit desires to convey. I hope that it brings each beautiful soul closer to their own divinity and brings them joy.
We are much more than we know or comprehend. Journeying to other dimensions and to the starship and Great Central Sun and bringing back the messages has expanded my perception and continues to as to what I thought I was. We are the divine incarnate. I realize the messages are given to expand the beliefs of who and what we are and what we are capable of. We are immense, joyful and limitless creators.
Ask for help. One thing that that has become clear to me is that our higher selves and Family of Light is always, always present. When I get stuck or find myself dwelling on a negative thought or question in my mind I am reminded that there is always help to be had. Yet our higher selves and Family of Light cannot and will not interfere unless we ask and give them permission. We are never alone.
Be mindful and aware of what I need to transform. I am continually becoming yet limiting beliefs and family patterns arise that need to looked at honestly and clearly. Then I must do the work of transforming them in order to be free of them. Doing my inner work is ongoing and constant. Nobody is to blame for my negative thoughts and perceptions. Others may mirror back to me what I need to resolve within but there is no blame. I can say how remarkable I am addicted to suffering. It’s too familiar and so conditioned over lifetimes that I can become very unaware of it. I have a tendency to experience this with others. Interactions or relationships become negative and do not feel good yet I am reluctant to set a boundary and simply say “no more.” My teacher has pointed this out as has Sananda and Mother Mary. “You are not here to suffer.” I am getting better yet the truth is I need to be constantly aware that if it doesn’t feel good, it isn’t good and I am not required, nor do I have to participate in it.
Master your mind. I cannot tell you how many times this has been emphasized by my higher selves and the Family of Light. Archangel Michael is adamant regarding this. I am responsible for my thoughts that result in my feelings. I must be mindful of what I am choosing to think. My mind can be useful in organizing my day and getting things done but the rest of it’s chatter is largely not useful or beneficial unless it is focused on the positive. If I find myself feeling negative and I recognize it I’ll say to Spirit. I’m not feeling my usual self. Then often I will hear AA Michael’s resounding voice, “What is your mind thinking of? Be the master of your mind.”
You are a creator. Whether I realize it or not I am always creating. Am I imagining a Now that is filled with prosperity, supportive and loving people, work that I’m passionate about, an Earth that is unified and tolerant and compassionate? I am told again and again until I live it in every moment, “this is an illusion and much of what you are exposed to is the illusion designed for you to see.” I get to choose my reality. I get to choose to do what I love to do and participate in that which brings me joy. If it isn’t bringing me joy then create something that does!
The possibilities are endless. Anything is possible. Journeying to the other dimensions and observing and participating in the realities of who I am, what I am capable of as is each soul aspect here I am aware that the intention of Spirit is to stretch and expand my consciousness and that of others that are resonating with the messages that everything is possible. We are limitless.
Love yourself and others without judgment. I am light and dark and have participated in all that is Mother/Father God here on Gaia and I make mistakes and fall into old patterns and uncover new patterns that need to be transformed. I need to love it all and observe those aspects without judgment. If I cannot love and accept myself unconditionally then I cannot love and accept Mother/Father God unconditionally or anyone else for that matter. It all comes back to me. Whenever Spirit has spoken of darkness, the message is always the same, “Do not judge yourself or others.” “Send yourself unconditional love and violet fire and all those in darkness.”
Blessings on your sacred journey and blessings to the Great Mother Gaia.